Christmas 2012 Saga continue:Master Po maintain down-hill slide while attempting to age gracefully. Mind, senses, muscles, bones and facial hair simply no longer work like supposed to.
Sunday, before Steeler game: (Daughter Kelly bring in Dan, boy friend for Christmas. They arrive the day before.) I take broom out on front porch and driveway to keep area clean, and to keep Mrs. Po happy. I like to save Mrs. Po voice and not give her reason to yell at Master Po. – especially at Christmas because I know that Mrs. Po is extremely stressed out. For two months, she bake, cook, shop for all of PA population, wrap gifts, prepare two large meals and numerous medium size meals, and work very hard for Holiday but not learn to use Spirits at Christmas to relax. Master Po remind her to use spirits more, and I follow own advice and partake of spirits too. Problem is I forget to help Mrs. Po with work because spirits interfere with thought process. Honorable daughter in law, Vicky (who is English teacher and use Old English words at times), say, “sometimes Pappy hath no brain.” Christmas is one of those times.
Back to Dan in driveway. Dan come out with hands in pockets and start to chat with Master Po. Master Po keep sweeping to keep Mrs. Po happy and to work up thirst for spirits. Master Po not thinking, cause like Vicky say, “He hath no brain.” I start talking to honorable Dan about dog Coco, the weather and Steelers, and other small talk, but not pay much attention to his demeanor. Demeanor - Latin for fine young man have something important to talk to girl friend’s father about, but father too stupid to notice. I tell Dan how to re-open garage door, give him top secret code and I come back in house. Meanwhile, Dan outside with Coco and still stuck in awkward feeling of demeanor.
Inside later, before game, Dan sit next to Master Po and start to speak softly. Mrs. Po and Kelly upstairs being very quiet. Master Po not notice how quiet they are. (spirits and hathing no brain again). Dan start saying something about ear rings made of recycled precious metals. I turn head to give Dan better ear, and not sure again if I hear of “ear rings,” or “a ring” or “bells ringing” – remember Master Po ears not work well – nothing to do with spirits. I ask honorable Dan again, to be sure, what he saying.
Second time, I think he say something about taking recyclable precious metals and have ring made for Kelly for Christmas – but I cannot make announcement about this, because Master Po still not sure what I hear. And Master Po (who really is not Master – he like Mongo on Blazing Saddles is but a pawn in the game of life) is not permitted to utter one word about this “ring” theory till he get okay from Honorable Kelly Po.Again, when Vicky hear this story about Master Po in driveway….she say, “sometimes Pappy hath no brain.”
Sunday after Steeler game, I wrestle with grandson, Nick while forgetting Master Po have torn rotator cuff in left shoulder. Later that evening, I sneeze hard. I wake up next morning with stiff neck, can’t move arm, and have severe groin pull from the sneeze. Fortunately, plenty of Christmas spirits bring relief to ailing body. Hath no brain, but in less pain – must be Christmas miracle.
Christmas Day, Mrs. Po stressed now more than ever. She give Honorable Dan gift card for Christmas that say “Happy Birthday” on card. Master Po not know that Dan share birthday with baby Jesus. But soon realize poor Mrs. Po purchase wrong title on card when shopping for entire PA population. So once again, I do my part and offer Mrs. Po spirits, but she not take. It only 7:30 in morning.
Later Christmas Day – (Master Po who not shave for two weeks, and hoping for Sean Connery type look – but he look more like Willie Nelson). Honorable brother in law, Steve say I look like Hugh Jackman, and make Master Po feel good. But I realize Steve consume multiple liters (Latin for 3 quarts) of wine. No one else in house agree with Steve. Sober people in house now know that it’s his turn to hath no brain.
Happy New Year! - 2013, Chinese Year of Man that hath no brain.