Master Po's Poison
Master Po have many mishaps at cabin through the 12 years he own property. He fall in creek and end up in hospital with major swelling on rump and leg. He sprain both ankles so bad he seek 3 weeks physical therapy with Honorable Chris Sipes. He almost drown riding lawn tractor into pond and get help from Honorable Vernon Young. He get tractor stuck in mud multiple times too. Once he jump into creek on purpose to avoid huge, attacking black and yellow wasps and hurt back. AND when he try to burn them out, he jump into creek again because gas spill on pants, and pants catch on fire. Master Po have many good memories of precious times at cabin for sure.
One story never told because of too much embarrassment to Master Po. But time has come for it to be made known. Master Po always cut fire wood during summer and fall for building camp fires and for wood burning stove. So far, Master Po not lose any fingers or toes, but…..
Master Po has learned that poison oak, sumac, ivy and many other plants at creek area carry harmful oils. He usually scrub hands and arms with soap and water after working with any wood. He learn this lesson after doctor visits for severe poison rash on hands and arms.
But…one day, Master Po not think, and has to go to bathroom because he drink 14 gallons of iced tea while working. He forget to wash before he start to pee in bushes. If you not know, when men pee, they touch private part – they cannot help this. Then Master Po zip up, and continue to cut more wood.
Later in evening, as Master Po shower at house, he not only discover most detestable itch he ever have, he also notice swelling so severe, he become afraid and hit panic button. He cannot make appointment to visit family doctor, because doctor Murnyack is lady doctor. And ancient Chinese rules prevent man from showing swollen private parts to women. So, he go to see Joe at pharmacy in town, and Joe recommend cream for problem.
So sensitive, it hurt to even apply cream.
Cream work but not for many days. In meantime porn industry try to recruit Master Po to join film industry. He turn them down, knowing notoriety will be short lived. He also not make same mistake again. He learn Chinese proverb: When working with wood, do not touch own wood.