War with Chipmunk

4/18/12 - Ancient Chinese Secret of War in Year of Chipmunk 2012
Last year Master Po lose all battles with chipmunks who raid garden. He replant peas four times and each time little cute chippers eat each seed before it sprouts from soil. He not care about peas much except honorable grandchildren like to eat sweet green peas. And honorable daughter-in-law, Vicky remind Master Po how delicious and nutritious garden vegetables can be, especially if grown organically. (Which mean fertilized with gold and platinum nuggets to drive price of garden vegetables through Temple roof.) So last year, he cover fifth crop with plastic ($4.95 per sq. yard) till peas sprout, and then uncover seedlings. This work as chippers only eat about 85 % of crop. And granddaughters on vacation in South Carolina when crop is ready, so they totally miss out on pea crop anyway. So, only person happy is Honorable Vicky who enjoy all peas herself last spring. Master Po estimate each pea cost Temple Fund about $8.25, not counting labor.
Master Po hope little chippers leave area this year in mass migration, and also hope Vicky not remember how delicious and nutritious organic peas were. Both hopes not happen, and master Po seek advice from Honorable Tom Mellott at Farm Bureau about waging war with cute, little, shitters, (I mean chippers). Tom suggest using traps, (also tried last year), but this year suggest using bird seed as bait, as cute chippers are also seed eaters. So he say.
Master Po turn garden over with pitch fork and rake smooth, but before planting first crop of 49 pounds of peas, he place four rat traps around garden, and place bird seed ever-so-carefully around traps. Not easy to find bird seed at some stores in spring – cost for bag, large enough to feed all chipmunks in northern hemisphere, for six years, run about $185.00. Yes, he use rat traps, because no one make traps to kill cute little chipmunks, with chubby cheeks, considered delicacy in orient.
While setting bird seed in traps, Master Po lucky, only twice traps go off snapping Master Po fingers in jaws. This not bad till Master Po body, flooded with Coumadin, release blood and thus cause infection concern. Not to worry, Master Po used to mishaps as they occur practically every day here at Temple. No bleeding is rare incident with Master Po. So, he continue waging war on little chubby-cheeked chippers yesterday.
Master Po hard to control excitement as he go out this morning to find all 4 traps set off. From distance even Master Po’s faulty color vision indicate trouble in traps. Yes, trap work - seed as bait work too. Master Po find four dead birds in traps. Not happy, I decide to just plant peas, and if cute animal, or dirty rat eat seeds, so be it. Chipmunks heard celebrating with other monks this evening in court yard.

My Roots - The Potchaks - circa 1927

My Roots - The Potchaks - circa 1927
From Left: Son, Steve - Dad, Frank - Mom, Anastasia (Makar) - Sons; John, Mike, Frank, Chuck (Author's Dad) - Twins, Pete & Mary - Daughter, Catherine. Photo taken in Wilmore, PA