Longaberger Enlightenment
Master & Mrs. Po spend Womens’ Dream-Come-True day at
Longaberger Headquarters in Newark, Ohio this past week. Despite crammed training sessions and many info
booths, Master Po still have no idea why women so fascinated with these
baskets.
On Thursday of week, I somehow manage to talk women (Mrs. Po
and my Sister, Stacie) out of trip to see giant basket – not so lucky though on
Friday as we are joined by other male, brother-in-law Honorable Mike and we
make trip.
Woman Dream Job - to work in Basket Office
Master Po think he have knowledge of wooden baskets because
he price them at Wal-Mart at roughly $2.99 per basket (size similar to loaf of
bread baked by Monks here in Temple). He
assume that since these Ohio baskets have “Longaberger” name and logo on
handle, that they might cost double or even triple that amount. Still he tell Mrs. Po to pick out some things
for her birthday which is Sunday – because he want to treat Mrs. Po to such
top-notch crafts. He honestly think he
might get a good buy and maybe get two baskets for under $20.00. (PLEASE NOTE:
WOMEN WILL ROAR OUTLOUD HERE AT MASTER PO’S ASSUMPTIONS.)
Must explain to readers that World’s Largest Flag is being
displayed this day on Longaberger grounds too. Live Patriotic music playing in
pavilion, crowded streets, and food for sale everywhere. TV News stations and newspapers are on scene
and planes flying overhead to get photo of large crowd and huge flag. Even country singer Darryl Worely singing on
stage. Smiling, happy women everywhere.
Few men in crowd and NONE are smiling - ALL have look of shock on face
instead.
(Please note: No prices below have been exaggerated one bit)
After posing for
photo under giant basket at World-wide head office, Honorable Mike drive truck
to outlet where baskets are sold. Master
Po ready to recant birthday offer to Mrs. Po when he first see sign where ad
say this bread-size basket, on sale, has price tag of $64.95.
When Mrs. Po noticed that Master Po’s body become fossilized
and turned to stone and can’t move, she explain, that is only basic basket
price. Sure enough, she right – I find
out women know much more about these baskets than men. This knowledge somehow
keep women happy. To add handle to basket, it cost $14.95 more (for single
handle). Double handle that meets in middle is a better deal – only $17.95. To
get protective liner for basket, add $12.95 and for lid, add another $21.95.
Great news is deal on ribbon for basket! Ribbon, size of paper clip, (in patriotic
colors of course) is only $7.95 each. And finally, if you want cloth cover for under
lid, (cloth apparently come from heat shield used for re-entry to earth atmosphere
by Shuttle astronauts), only cost $21.95 for piece as big as man’s
handkerchief.
Before Master Po pick up robe and run out of building, women
remind men that this is a USA Company, and they employ USA workers, and support
USA Unions and help economy in America too.
Just then “God Bless America” start playing in pavilion and Master Po
realize what is happening here. Even if peasant girl in China can make similar
basket from reeds in rice patty for less than a nickel – Master Po must be
patriotic and support this awesome basket business idea. He see one basket, size of small kitchen
garbage can that sell for $360.00.
Visitors threatened with one-way hot air balloon ride to Kansas if they don't buy basket.
He walk for short time in building while band play “I’m
proud to be an American,” and very depressing war song, “All give some, Some
give All.” He see another sign where
visitor can make own basket and starting price for similar size is only $59.99
and he wonder if women remain happy to save 5 dollar and have to make own
basket. He soon learn answer – many women in long lines to work stations to
make own baskets too. This puzzle Master
Po even further. These women must be true patriots.
He finally leave building to sit on bench, eat soft pretzel
and listen to more music. Mrs. Po and
others remain shopping in building for another six hours, but Master Po meet
many friendly people with vast knowledge of basket business while sitting on
bench.
30 foot tall basket not for sale - Nation in too much debt already.
One couple have name tag signs on shirts that say
“Consultant” – they ask if I’m waiting for wife, and I say, “yes.” They ask if she could use a consultant, but remember,
Master Po not thinking like others at festival….He still rookie with limited
info on basket business. He think they are financial consultants, so he
politely say, “No thank you, we are retired teachers and have our finances in
order.” Lady “consultant” look at her
husband with very odd look on face, and her smile completely disappear, and she
and husband get up quickly and leave bench.
She give Master Po look, like he not only from other country but from other
planet too.
I realize later, after Mrs. Po explain “consultant” position
to me what she was referring to. All in
group get kick out of Master Po’s reply to her question. In any event, she leave and not bother Master
Po again. Meanwhile band play “Star Spangled Banner” and after women visit 3
more buildings, each with two floors, we head back to sister house to laugh
again at Master Po. Mrs. Po does find
good bargains and is happy with her birthday gifts. We sing patriotic hymns on way back to house.
Mrs. Po's bargains - all for about $75.00. I think she do well.
