Missing Persons Alert!
As a favor to my grown children I am making this public appeal for help in locating a missing couple. The pair means much to my kids because the missing duo happens to be their parents. Naturally worried, they haven’t seen or heard from the loving partners for almost a decade now.
Ironically, their disappearance took place at about the same moment the absent couple became grandparents for the first time.
Detailed description provided
The couple, described as “extremely authoritarian”, raised the kids in a “stern environment that allowed very little freedoms,” according to the children. “We were constantly reminded of our manners and proper behavior too,” agreed the trio.
“Mom had specific rules for dating and she dictated at what age we could shave our legs, wear make-up and get our ears pierced,” said Amy, the couples’ oldest daughter.
“Dad would ask prospective suitors if they owned bullet-proof vests,” added second daughter Kerrie Ann. “Boys were simply afraid to come around or call.”
“Mom saw to it that we consumed very little junk food,” explained son, David. “Even desserts were forbidden unless we ate every bite of our meals first. It was tough on me because I didn’t like a lot of foods when I was growing up.”
“Dad would even limit our shower length and use of hot water,” proclaimed all three siblings. “And nonessential items like bottled water were forbidden too,” they exclaimed. “If Dad purchased anything at the grocery store, it had to be generic in brand and bulk in size.”
“No negotiating,” they concluded. “Bedtime meant bedtime. Put your toys away meant do it and do it now. TV programs were monitored as was time spent on the phone.”
David also admitted, “I got my butt swatted at times too, by both of them.”
Imposters living at the premises
The children notified investigators that they believe Imposters now live in the dwelling in New Enterprise. “It’s not necessarily a negative change for the grandchildren. But I’m positive the adults living in that house are not my parents,” explained Amy.
“Investigators had a rough time just getting through all the toys on the floor when they tried entering,” said Kerrie Ann. “And the refrigerator contained small boxes of real Minute Maid fruit juice and a bottle of Heinz ketchup. It didn’t take authorities long to realize we were correct in our ‘imposter’ assumptions.”
Speaking on conditions of anonymity, one detective assigned to the case recently reported. “We have evidence that the woman allows fake lipsticks, perfumes, face glitter and hair colors and dyes to be worn by the grandchildren. They are also permitted to use color paints on the dining room table without multiple folds of newspaper for protection. The kids aren’t required to clean up afterwards either.“
“The man allows the kids to shoot a BB gun at targets,” said a worried officer. “And both imposters filled the kitchen and dining room cupboards with sugar cookies, cakes and other non-nutritious, cavity causing treats. We also discovered individually wrapped Hershey ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.”
“An unlimited long distant phone service raised a red flag, too.”
Child Services Photo: Strange man allowing children to run water from a hose for hours
“Bedtime, snack time and TV time are much different now,” continued the investigator. “During our visit one summer day, we found the older man relaxing outside in a lawn chair in the shade, apparently doing no harm. But it was so odd - he allowed water to run for hours from a hose with the aid of an electric pump. The grandchildren were having a blast on a home-made water slide, but the identity of the man remained in doubt in the eyes of the family. No regard was given to the cost of the electricity or the wasting of water.”
Grown children continue to trust the imposters
Above: Grand daughter Ana, eating candy - from Child Services photo files
“I’ll continue to trust the inhabitants with babysitting,” admitted David. “I have absolutely no concerns of harsh discipline regarding my daughter Ana. To the contrary, I worry about a leniency that I’ve never been exposed to before in my lifetime.”
“My children just love visiting and staying over too,” admits Amy. “Every visit is a special treat for them and we fully trust those imposters, whoever they really are. “
“I have no children of my own,” concluded Kerrie Ann. “I wonder daily though what happened to my real parents.”
Above – A computer generated photo of what the couple might look like today (provided by the FBI)
If you have any information regarding the disappearance of the couple, please get in touch with any of the grown children. “No reward is being offered by the family. We don’t want them to return quite that badly just yet,” explained David.