Health issues not go
smoothly as Master Po ages
Tuesday,
Oct., 27, 2015 – Master Po answer pre surgery questions on phone for 25 minutes
with nurse at UPMC Altoona about upcoming knee replacement surgery scheduled
for Nov. 12. Master Po have phone next
to left ear, THE ONLY EAR THAT WORKS, and he have phone set for SPEAKER PHONE
TOO. He hear very distinctly – “Bring folder given to you by surgeon to meeting
this coming Friday @ 9:00am.”
So I do….
Friday, Oct.
30, 2015, Master and Mrs. Po travel to Altoona Hospital parking lot and other
than disagree where we’re supposed to park; all goes well…Until we enter
building… We must have entered area for special needs employees because no one
know where we are, nor where we’re to go, - All employees met, seem to have
trouble even understanding our questions. Master Po, always conscientious and
sympathetic of the needs of special people, happy to see that they are employed
and contributing to society, but wonder if hospital is best place for this kind
of placement.
Rememba too,
Master Po, have severe arrhythmia, two synthetic heart valves, have
defibrillator, bad knees, can’t hear and is color blind. And is a tad impatient
too.
When we
finally get to correct area, we learn Master Po bring big folder, but bring (as
they say in China) “wrong one.” No one tell Master Po to bring White folder, so
he bring Big Blue one instead. No ‘orders’ from surgeon in blue one. No tests done here at hospital that day!!! No
orders - and hospital nurses need orders!!
– Master Po can see BLUE & WHITE, so he upset about not being told color of
folder wanted by nurses….
Folders, above: As Mrs. Po remind me, if I would have only read the front of the folders, I would plainly see that it says to bring the White one with us
I wonder why
Chinese invent dynamite and gun powder in 9th century, in Tang
Dynasty …. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_gunpowder
and man land on moon in 1969, and today we can facetime with
granddaughter in MT with new technology, but “Orders” from one doctor in
Altoona can’t be sent to hospital in Altoona a few blocks away. They expect paper copies to be carried by
patients instead. Master Po continue to get more upset as we make trip to
hospital for nothing.
At 11:00am
we have another appointment where we are to meet with surgeon at University
Orthopedics, who was to get “pre – test” results from earlier appointment….but
we not have tests, so Master Po wonder if surgeon might be upset too –
Not to
worry, surgeon not in today, and Physician Assistant as Bill Cosby might call
him, “almost a doctor” is only one to talk to us. He basically tell us nothing
new, but does somehow now come up with “NEW ORDERS” and his office schedule us
for new tests in same building as he – Master wonder again, why this not done in
the first place, earlier in morning …. ??With so many orders, here and there,
Master Po check sign on medical building to make sure I’m not in a military
facility or VA hospital.
It now close
to 1:00pm, and Master Po getting hungry… but we finally get in line in new
place with NEW ORDERS,….
In early
question session, Master Po refer to changed setting on his pacemaker, made
months earlier in doc office. [instead of ‘tweaks’ – he call them ‘twinks’] –
Mrs. Po laugh at loud because I say that other times in sessions too, so I just
start calling them ‘twinks’ all the time, instead of ‘tweaks’ – it become
family joke, and out of habit, I accidentally say to nurse the wrong word again
today. Mrs. Po not surprised that I use
wrong word…I tell her it sub -conscientiously used because I’m hungry… [Hostess
Twinkies] – Nurse just just shake head when I say that the Pacemaker
‘twinks’ have helped a lot. Nurse not find this as humorous as the rest of the Po family.
Later,
technician speak to me as she turn away. This not good for Master Po because he
rely on face and lips to hear at times…. So I hear something like this… “ yada yada, swab for bacteria, testing for
MERSA” – She then turn around with long q-tip at end of long wooden dowel rod
and I open mouth very wide for swabbing.
She laugh at loud, saying “I need to swab your nostrils, not your
throat.” Master Po feel embarrassed and turn shades of red. [I assume because
red, one color Master Po can’t see] But I feel red and hot too.
In X-ray area, Master Po going in for CHEST XRAY. He think he hear “put back against
board and face machine” Only natural, right, since he getting chest picture
taken. Techies laugh again…”No, chest
against board, and back to machine” is commanded by techies. Master Po assume
he turn further shades of red. Still not understanding their ‘orders’ both
ladies come out of safe radiation area, and physically turn Master Po into
proper position against board with hands held over his head. One lady push so
hard, Master Po (with all his balance woes) almost fall down. Master Po not get
upset - strength of ladies, not their fault. Rememba, they abosorb much
radiation rays in their job and they not know their own strength.
Not done
yet… Master Po hear something like this from another techie… “We need yada,
yada, yada, then you can go home.” She
turn around, hand me a bag, with a wipe up in it, and small plastic jar, with
lid. She then point in direction of bi-sexual lavatory, with images of both men
and women on door. She say, “there’s the
rest room.” Master Po impressed as to
how techie knows that Master Po is growing older and she assume I need to go
pee. She even give me wipe-up to clean hands when I’m done.
I look
puzzled though at bag and jar - and she say, “Didn’t you hear me? We need a
urine sample! – and the towel-ette is to wipe off the top of the jar.”
Next Master Po so gun-shy and worried about
making more mistakes, I stare at images on lav door to make sure I don’t walk
into the wrong restroom. [Yes, I do that before in the same building a few
years earlier.]
She say loudly,
“Yes, that’s the lav SIR!!” Nurses feel
they have to be formal at times, when patients like me can’t hear well. But
Master Po feel he in military hospital again when referred to as SIR. I check signs again to make sure I go into
correct restroom.
I pee, wipe
jar, hand to techie and I hobble out of testing area, and we stop in at
Friday’s for late, late, lunch, (3:30pm)
and down a few “Angry Orchard’s” – They do help…and thank good Lord,
lavs there have only one image on doors.
Master Po look like "Angry Orchard" tree trunk after day like this one.
