Not since 2015, Chinese year of Sheep has Master Po write story about true escapades. Believe it or not, I do get requests for new mis-adventure stories.
Early Sunday morning, 9/9/18 we head out in Mrs. Po car to Myrtle Beach S.C. despite storm in Atlantic. Forecasters not sure storm will make landfall, so we take chance and head to beach. I drive Mrs. Po car, a Honda CRV which I only ever drive once before.
We get 3 miles to Loysburg while tropical storm Gordon rain on us, and I learn CRV stand for Cold Rain Vehicle. I reach up above by rear view mirror to put on dome light, and I open roof hatch instead. It only 50 degrees out, and Master Po, quick as always, react to get off road in dark, to fix situation while Mrs. Po scream and try to find correct button to close roof. Trip not start out very good.
We stop at Cogo's to get warm coffee and hot tea, where we see honorable Wayne Feight & Honorable Kevin Grubb there. We worry they ask where we are headed. We afraid to tell them that two Pollocks are headed to beach in storm. Sure enough, Kevin ask us. Thank goodness they not ask why we are so wet.
All go okay till we stop at McDonald's in VA. We are on wrong road, cause we fail to make proper turn. We don't blame each other, but Master Po still driving, and Mrs. Po is giving directions from the passenger seat. I share blame so we not ruin vacation and want to maintain the good times we experience thus far.
Truck driver there say take I 64 east and we look at map. Mrs. Po say while eating egg McMuffin, “ I won't drive! I won't. I will not drive that road into downtown Richmond! I REFUSE TO DRIVE!” She further exclaim she "not want to go thru business section of city." Truck driver reassure it will not take us “downtown.” We settle decision as Master Po volunteer to continue to drive. Again not want to ruin great vacation and to preserve good times.
Things going okay but I now remember, despite many Metamucil doses, that Master Po colon somehow know we are traveling, and feeling of constipation start to overwhelm body. My colon know like mind reader that we not at home anymore.
I last 8 hours driving, pretty good for two artificial heart valves, 15 medications, constipation and cramping, bad knees & neuropathy-ridden legs. Mrs. Po switch over driving duties at NC welcome center, where I want to thank lady for highlighting our route with yellow marker. Mrs. Po stop me quickly as marker is orange, not yellow.
Here we are, with Florence still out to sea.
We get to beach in 13 hours, not bad since it rain for 75% of trip. People moving slowly - southerners rather drown or get blown away rather than give up vacation days. We join them with lackadaisical attitude...NO ONE seem to CARE ABOUT FLORENCE!
We stop at walmart where we buy alcohol , 1 dozen doughnuts, and orange juice to mix with more Metamucil so I can poop. Always thinking to eat and drink in healthy manner.
Monday Morning at pool:
I realize I forget to pack swimming trunks, so have to wear old gym shorts instead. Mrs. Po did say at house, she did not pack trunks, but I forget too quickly and did not pack them. Or maybe I just not hear her, which is highly likely.
Only alcohol purchased from pool-side bar permitted but that not stop Master Po from sneaking it to “lazy river” and pool area in Yeti (given to me as gift from daughter Amy & son in law). It called lazy river because it shallow, and move very slow. So while on inner tube, one can just float down current and relax. I see many others floating with drinks in their hands and no one seems to be alarmed. Of course all patrons are old like us and no one cares. I keep my Yeti next to chair so I not spill contents in water. Good thing, Too! I fall out of inner tube while trying to get in. Have to be rescued by lady next to me. When I get up and out of water, I realize she much older than me, and have no trouble getting in and out of tube. That not make me very happy, and when I get out,I reach for Yeti. I warn Mrs. Po about impending entrapment in the tube. Sure enough, man have to rescue her too. We laugh and have good time, again not wanting to ruin great vacation – letting the good times continue to roll.
I soon talk to another old lady next to us, and am amazed how spry she is for much older-age, than mine. Later I discover she six years younger, and realize I much older than I think at times.
Not want to risk falling out of tube again, I sit in the kiddie fountain to cool off. Thankful no kiddies are around so I not frighten young children.
I talk loud cause I can't hear:
I ask Mrs. Po if I look like large man sitting in lounge chair by pool. I notice my fingers start to burn horribly as I catch hell from loving wife. She say that since I cannot whisper, she advise me to keep my mouth shut.
So, I strike up conversation with man from Ohio while in pool across from Mrs. Po. And Mrs. Po hear every word of our conversation. She teach me lesson that I do talk too loud. And I do not argue, she prove her point – plus I want to keep good times rolling.
My cold drinks start working and Master Po have to pee. Mrs. po want to read in sun, but Master Po want to go back up to room. I tell her I'm hot and need AC, but afraid to tell her I have to pee, cause I talk too loud and don't want to announce to patrons that I have to go right now. She not happy that I don't wait for her. She afraid of going up elevator alone. I manage to get up there in time, and she join me and we have late lunch, while enjoying the awesome, clear, hot weather of S. Carolina.
Late Monday afternoon
Still NO ONE CARE ABOUT FLORENCE.
We go back to beach and lazy river and pool. At 4:30 we get mandatory evacuation notice to be out by noon next day. Governor not give much warning.
At 5:00, Master Po asked by young Czech student, going to school at Prague Univ to help close her ice cream and Italian ice stand. Not want to show her that I can barely get of chair, so Mrs. Po volunteer to help. She say, “I think I'll need your husband's help because you might not be strong enough.” So, Master Po show much chivalry as he take five minutes to get out of chair and hobble over to help. Mrs. Po offer to help steady my body, but I turn down assistance so as to not look too feeble. I only pull 3 muscles, and strain all joints in arms and legs to give assistance. We learn poor girl was worried and almost crying because of evacuation. We help her locate proper desk and ph number for assistance. We hope to hear from her to see how she's doing.
Photo taken by Anna, Czech student - storm still no where in sight. Master Po gym shorts in plain view.
I finally poop Tuesday morning. Actually we enjoy the one day at beach – even though it take 13 hours to get there and 12 to return. Coming home, Master Po only miss one turn and we drive thru little town called Warsaw, VA. We enjoy seeing other Polish drivers there and realize we're not the only Pollocks on the road. I, notice too, that there are black Pollocks in town. I never knew they existed before - never too old to learn new facts. Very nice little town.
We also feel honored and humbled that we see river named for us as we travel N. on I95. We see signs for Po River. They must have heard about us from past mis-adventure when we travel to beach.
This photo from Italy - Master Po only see Po River Road sign in VA. No other photo available, but Po River does exist. Honorable Sabrina Will will testify.
Also I see signs for Mt. Misery, and quickly surmise that it named for disgruntled honeymooners who spend weekend there in 1912. They apparently not enjoy each other like Master Po and Mrs. Po do.
Mrs. Po take over driving and it's dark, on way back. She point out front window and say, “It's wet here,” And I ask, “A white heron?” thinking, what is white heron doing on this road? Yes, Master Po not hear well, but we are safe and sound. And Master Po feel blessed having Mrs. Po around. We not even upset that we cut vacation short. We just happy we safe and happy we have each other. The End.