If you ever heard stories about a certain young man who grew up in a small mining and lumber town in the 1930's-40's, you just might smile as you admired his ornery ways. In his adolescence, that young man would think ahead, and after a heavy snowfall, he'd rise out of bed early and head to the local school bus lot. There, he'd pull the cables off the spark plugs and distributor cap from under the school bus hood. Just in case school wasn't canceled that morning because of the snow, he wanted to be sure he covered all the bases, so he'd hide a cable or two just for good measure, then head back home. When the bus failed to appear that morning, his mother thought that school had been canceled and the kids had a day off.
Years later as a teacher and coach
This young man later served his country in the Korean War, and afterwards worked in the coal mines while going to college on the GI bill. Then he became a high school math teacher and a coach. Once a former student of this man greeted him while shopping in a mall. His shout-out went something like, "Hello coach! I ran cross-country and track for you back in 1974."
Not wanting to admit that the coach didn't remember the runner's name, he replied jokingly, "Oh, hi! When did they let you out of jail?"
To which the former runner proclaimed, "About two weeks ago."
Are you smiling now?
Though the coach's wife tried smiling, she was rather embarrassed by her husband's questioning, and felt like walking away to hide somewhere to avoid the awkward situation any further. Her emotions paled in comparison to what was about to follow years later (more on that in a bit).
Coming home later than expected
Once this ornery, but lovable guy was a tad late after he stopped by a local watering hole in town. When his wife asked him why he was running late, he explained, "There was a huge dog outside the door of the place and it would growl at everyone who tried to leave." He went on to add, "Every time anyone stepped out, they were met with a menacing grrrrr, and they had to turn around and come back in for fear of being bitten."
When his wife refused to believe that story, he concluded with, "Go ahead and call the bar. They'll tell you that I'm not making this up."
I bet you're smiling now.
An Eastern European wedding reception
If you've ever heard of Polish, Slovak or "hunky" wedding receptions, you fully know what kind of celebrations they can be. The events usually offered great food, a live band, a large wedding party, many guests, and an open bar for the attendees to partake of a beverage or two.
The Big Announcement
At one such event, the leader of the band had just announced all the names of the wedding party, followed by an immense applause from the large audience. Each couple in the wedding party appeared from a hallway close to the main area. Lastly, he announced the married couple's names, accompanied by a thundering drum roll, while everyone in the place stood, cheered loudly and started to clap their hands for the newlyweds.
Yes, it was a standing ovation, as everyone expected the young couple to appear from the hallway. Instead, that lovable, ornery guy entered the arena in his dress suit, with a huge smile on his face and drinks in each hand. He had to double-hold the requested drinks from those at his table, because he'd offered that favor to his family when he went to the bar.
He never missed a beat, drum or other-wise, grinning and nodding to those standing around him as he made his way to his table. His nods of approval mimicked those persons receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. But the look on his wife and daughters' faces told another story. Mortification would be a better description of their emotions.
You have to be smiling now!
In his defense, as he tried explaining to his wife, he claimed he was told by an usher in the hall that it was okay to enter at that precise time. That claim though, was never proven, one way or another.
To complete the story
Now, when you hear who that ornery, but lovable man was, it may cause you to laugh even more so. He was none other than my father-in-law, Pete. And I was at that table, with my wife's family. My brother-in-law and I made no attempt to restrain our laughter, despite the embarrassed faces of the women sitting with us. To be honest, we almost burst our bladders then, and still do, when we reminisce Pete's ornery activity that day.
