I Cannot Take a Lie....
I couldn't help but be extra cautious following my back to back open-heart surgeries just over 20 years ago. Not only were two artificial valves placed within my heart, but I eventually had a pacemaker and a defibrillator inserted also.
So, unlike the many instances prior to my ordeal, when I often had the habit of not heeding my wife's suggestions, this time I did want to take her orders and the doctors' commands more seriously. For those that know me, they will agree that my personality has many positive traits and one of those is my desire to please those around me.
A lot of changes to deal with
I was given a whole new assortment of medications, including blood thinners, 3 heart regulators and an endless cautionary list explaining what I could and could not do physically.
I learned I couldn't get too close to invisible high energy waves like those found in the electromagnetic spectrum. To my surprise, these included some types of cell phones, microwaves, X-rays, MRI machines and metal detectors.
The good news for my wife was that I could no longer work an any electrical circuits in my home. And I was no longer permitted to jump a car battery either, so electrical interference with my pacemaker was highly unlikely.
To this day, she still has nightmares from some of my old do-it-myself fiascoes, like almost burning the house down while torching a wasp nest in the arborvitae tree next to our front door. So it was naturally refreshing to me just to learn that in many ways, my wife would now have less to worry about - which is another trait of mine - wanting to ease the stress in my loved ones' lives.
Murder trial in the Blair County courthouse
While recuperating from my heart surgeries, I became interested in a highly publicized murder trial in January of 2007. I had never witnessed a real trial before and I looked forward to observing this case, which was widely reported in the newspapers and TV broadcasts at the time. Another personal attribute of mine is to stay abreast of current events.
Of course, my medical warning list was foremost in my mind, so I was prepared to request permission to bypass the metal detector device that greets all visitors to courthouse buildings.
No clue why I said what I did
Waiting patiently in the corridor, (another trait of mine), I worked my way to the front of the line and proclaimed, "I cannot take a lie detector test." To which, the 4 armed guards responded with a roaring round of laughter. Normally, I enjoy giving cause to make people happy, but this was not expected, and one guard replied out loud, "That's okay, we don't subject our visitors here to polygraphs."
To say I felt humiliated as I entered the seating area of the court room would be an understatement, but I was also intrigued as to why I used the term lie detector test. To this day, I have no idea what I was thinking. Perhaps the guards, in police attire and carrying side arms confused my brain neurons just a tad.
More mockery to follow
I knew the guards would not have forgotten me as I left the court room later that day. But I still was unprepared for what followed. As I pulled my winter coat collar up high around my chin to conceal my identity, I prayed I could sneak by the attendants unnoticed.
That was purely wishful thinking on my part. As soon as one of the guards spotted me, he exclaimed in a booming voice, "Hey Martha, here's the guy that wouldn't let us give him a lie detector test." Of course, mass hysteria and laughter ensued yet again. He concluded, like the song lyrics following The Beverly Hillbillies, inviting me to come back again sometime, and he assured me I wouldn't have to worry about taking a polygraph test.
Apparently open-heart surgeries have an affect on the brain as much as they do on the heart.
